Wednesday, October 13, 2004
Ken Caminiti: Bad Guy or Victim?
By now everyone has heard about the death of Ken Caminiti. Stories about him have focused mostly on his life, his family, his various addictions, and the impact his death might have on the future of steroid testing in MLB.
But there is an interesting discussion going on in the Detroit Tigers newsgroup about the Caminiti story. The question is basically coming down to this: was Ken Caminiti a bad guy for allowing himself to get mixed up in drugs, or was he a victim of his addictions and thus unable to break free from them?
The thread in question started off this way:
"Apparently Caminiti would do anything to excel. I think the idea is not that you'll do anything, but that you'll do the right things. God bless his soul now - that's all that's left for him. As for the players still with us, one wonders if the MLBPA might actually consider getting serious about the issue of steroids and move more aggressively to get rid of them. I'm not much for unions, but I'd rather be in a union that acts in my best interest rather than a union that wants to shield me from any check or balance on my behavior - even behavior that might kill me."
The discussion quickly turned to moral terms:
"You know, I'm having a hard time feeling sorry for the guy. He was a perfectly healthy person, had plenty going well for him, and he really pissed away his life by continuing his drug habits. I feel badly for his family and friends, and hope this serves as a lesson for anyone in the same sad habit to get their act together, but I just don't know that I feel sorry for the guy."
This statement generated this response:
"Well, he's certainly not an innocent victim, and you might even argue, I suppose, that he deserved his fate. But I thank God that I haven't gotten everything I've deserved in life. Since I've enjoyed mercy and grace, I'm genuinely sad that people like Ken Caminiti and Bubba Helms will not be able to enjoy any more of it.
"Call me a sucker, I guess. When irresponsible people destroy their own lives, it breaks my heart every time."
Which led to this:
"Ugh, I have to get into this discussion. This statement "When irresponsible people destroy their own lives, it breaks my heart every time." really hits home for me. I have a brother who is a heroin addict and I have been raising his children for the last eight years. We legally adopted them when the state took away their parental rights, so the fact that when you said "irresponsible people destroy their own lives" you HAVE to realize it's not just their own lives that are affected. Think about all the innocent crack babies out there, they did nothing wrong but are going to have a life of lowered intelligence, irregular behavior and many more problems. I, personally, have no feelings, good or bad, about this Caminiti dude. I just wonder how many people he has screwed over with his drug usage. I'm sure his addiction ruined many people's lives around him. Those are the ones to feel bad for."
The response to this:
"Exactly. Ken Caminiti pissed away his life and tampered those of others. I was at a walk for ALS Sunday. I did Race for the Cure this year for a friend who left behind a husband and 4 year old son. There are plenty of kids that are in the same boat that John's nieces/nephews are in or are like my nephew who won't ever know one of his real parents (which in a roundabout way is good since the creep doesn't deserve to know what a wonderful kid he is ignoring). I feel bad for people like this, that are thrown disadvantages and heartbreak through the fault of someone else or no one in particular. Ken Caminiti had it made compared to some. But he chose to slowly kill himself anyway. I have a hard time feeling badly for someone like that."
So the conclusion the group seemed to be coming to was that Ken Caminiti was a sinner who willfully destroyed the lives of his children in order to gain whatever advantage for himself.
But then, out of nowhere, came another point of view -- a beautifully written point of view -- from someone named Donna, whom I had never seen post to the group before:
"I don't think it's a matter of whether you should feel "sorry" for him or not. I think his life is just one more example of how strong some drug addictions are. If you haven't ever been addicted to something, you wouldn't be able to understand. I've never taken drugs, but I smoked cigarettes for years. It took me years to quit and I knew the whole time they were bad for me. Ken knew he wanted to stop using drugs, he just didn't know how to stop. And unfortunately, the so-called experts around him like his drug counselor and [probation] person, all sound clueless to me in the quotes they gave after he died. I wished he could have had better help. It may have made a difference. Even on his last day, he was reaching out for help and didn't have anyone around him.
There has to be a complete change in the person's life and spiritual thinking in order to finally change. Ken was a good guy who in spite of all of his drug use, was very much loved by everyone. He wasn't one of those abusive addicts. The opposite actually. He was a giver according to teammates, and he had absolutely no self esteem according to a writer who was working on a book with him. In fact, his former manager told a story that happened about 7 months ago. [Ken] showed up at spring training where he was a coach, and he had a bloody nose and bruises on his face. His girlfriend (who he met in rehab) had hit him in the nose 18 times. And Ken just stood there and took it. He let her keep hitting him. It's almost like he didn't think he deserved better.
So to me it's not a matter of whether people should feel sorry for him (he wouldn't want sympathy) - it's a matter of feeling sadness for another human being who was obviously in a lot of pain. If you don't feel something for him or other people in his situation, then that says more about your ability to empathize than anything else."
Wow. This post floored me. It absolutely, perfectly reflected my own position on this entire situation, but which I had not been able to articulate as effectively up to this point.
In the best way I could, I had to respond to Donna and the group with this (altered slightly for greater clarity):
"Donna, this has got to be the most powerfully-written explanation of people who have monster addictions that I have ever read. I must say I completely agree 100% with everything you say here.
When I heard the Ken Caminiti and the Bubba Helms stories, I felt somewhat ambivalent in my feelings about them. I knew I didn't feel exactly sorry for them, but I felt bad for them that they somehow could not change their circumstances even though they wanted to. I knew they did not have the proper help either available to them, or that the help they hired was not effective in helping to deal with the problem. I hit a roadblock trying to articulate my thoughts on this. You smashed through the roadblock and reflected my position on this perfectly, and far more effectively than I myself could have at this point in time.
As we all know, Ken Caminiti did have resources to get help available to him. But as you've inferred, Donna, just because one can afford the help doesn't mean the help you hire is the right help, or that the help even knows what they're doing. The help may be incompetent for all you know, yet you have no way to assess that. People make bad choices in doctors, dentists, lawyers, contractors, financial advisors, etc., all the time, through no fault of their own. Just having the money available to you doesn't guarantee the help you hire is going to be the best.
I feel especially bad for Bubba Helms. Here's a guy who grew up in an environment where he was allowed to drop out of school in eighth grade, rendering himself undereducated, who was possibly (probably) mentally unstable, stuck in small-town Tennessee where there's little good employment, where there's nothing else to do, where there is probably no effective professional help for people battling drug addiction (and likely a culture that eschews seeking out such help as being a sign of personal weakness), and where drugs are rife to feed the addictions that people who have no resources, no hope, and no future need to quell the pain -- my God, what chance did the guy have?
There are a tremendous number of people, especially in this newsgroup, who want to paint the Caminiti and Helms situations as personal moral failings. They reason that the addicted ones made bad choices, pissed away their lives, and destroyed the lives of people around them, and for that they must be punished. These addicts lacked the will and the gumption to "just say no". These simplistic, self-righteous moralists would have you think that the Caminitis and Bubbas are the world are no better than human garbage to be darwinized out of existence for the good of mankind.
But as you've articulated so exquisitely, Donna, the truth is far more nuanced than that. You have brought an eloquent highly-reasoned point of view to this discussion, and for that I thank you."
I just posted this response to the newsgroup a few minutes ago, so I do not know what the reaction is going to be. It's doubtful that any minds will be changed about this issue, as people tend to hold on to their opinions in the face of all evidence to the contrary. But this discussion will continue to reverberate through the next week or so and then die out, only to be renewed when the next tragic story of death by addiction rekindles this debate.
But there is an interesting discussion going on in the Detroit Tigers newsgroup about the Caminiti story. The question is basically coming down to this: was Ken Caminiti a bad guy for allowing himself to get mixed up in drugs, or was he a victim of his addictions and thus unable to break free from them?
The thread in question started off this way:
"Apparently Caminiti would do anything to excel. I think the idea is not that you'll do anything, but that you'll do the right things. God bless his soul now - that's all that's left for him. As for the players still with us, one wonders if the MLBPA might actually consider getting serious about the issue of steroids and move more aggressively to get rid of them. I'm not much for unions, but I'd rather be in a union that acts in my best interest rather than a union that wants to shield me from any check or balance on my behavior - even behavior that might kill me."
The discussion quickly turned to moral terms:
"You know, I'm having a hard time feeling sorry for the guy. He was a perfectly healthy person, had plenty going well for him, and he really pissed away his life by continuing his drug habits. I feel badly for his family and friends, and hope this serves as a lesson for anyone in the same sad habit to get their act together, but I just don't know that I feel sorry for the guy."
This statement generated this response:
"Well, he's certainly not an innocent victim, and you might even argue, I suppose, that he deserved his fate. But I thank God that I haven't gotten everything I've deserved in life. Since I've enjoyed mercy and grace, I'm genuinely sad that people like Ken Caminiti and Bubba Helms will not be able to enjoy any more of it.
"Call me a sucker, I guess. When irresponsible people destroy their own lives, it breaks my heart every time."
Which led to this:
"Ugh, I have to get into this discussion. This statement "When irresponsible people destroy their own lives, it breaks my heart every time." really hits home for me. I have a brother who is a heroin addict and I have been raising his children for the last eight years. We legally adopted them when the state took away their parental rights, so the fact that when you said "irresponsible people destroy their own lives" you HAVE to realize it's not just their own lives that are affected. Think about all the innocent crack babies out there, they did nothing wrong but are going to have a life of lowered intelligence, irregular behavior and many more problems. I, personally, have no feelings, good or bad, about this Caminiti dude. I just wonder how many people he has screwed over with his drug usage. I'm sure his addiction ruined many people's lives around him. Those are the ones to feel bad for."
The response to this:
"Exactly. Ken Caminiti pissed away his life and tampered those of others. I was at a walk for ALS Sunday. I did Race for the Cure this year for a friend who left behind a husband and 4 year old son. There are plenty of kids that are in the same boat that John's nieces/nephews are in or are like my nephew who won't ever know one of his real parents (which in a roundabout way is good since the creep doesn't deserve to know what a wonderful kid he is ignoring). I feel bad for people like this, that are thrown disadvantages and heartbreak through the fault of someone else or no one in particular. Ken Caminiti had it made compared to some. But he chose to slowly kill himself anyway. I have a hard time feeling badly for someone like that."
So the conclusion the group seemed to be coming to was that Ken Caminiti was a sinner who willfully destroyed the lives of his children in order to gain whatever advantage for himself.
But then, out of nowhere, came another point of view -- a beautifully written point of view -- from someone named Donna, whom I had never seen post to the group before:
"I don't think it's a matter of whether you should feel "sorry" for him or not. I think his life is just one more example of how strong some drug addictions are. If you haven't ever been addicted to something, you wouldn't be able to understand. I've never taken drugs, but I smoked cigarettes for years. It took me years to quit and I knew the whole time they were bad for me. Ken knew he wanted to stop using drugs, he just didn't know how to stop. And unfortunately, the so-called experts around him like his drug counselor and [probation] person, all sound clueless to me in the quotes they gave after he died. I wished he could have had better help. It may have made a difference. Even on his last day, he was reaching out for help and didn't have anyone around him.
There has to be a complete change in the person's life and spiritual thinking in order to finally change. Ken was a good guy who in spite of all of his drug use, was very much loved by everyone. He wasn't one of those abusive addicts. The opposite actually. He was a giver according to teammates, and he had absolutely no self esteem according to a writer who was working on a book with him. In fact, his former manager told a story that happened about 7 months ago. [Ken] showed up at spring training where he was a coach, and he had a bloody nose and bruises on his face. His girlfriend (who he met in rehab) had hit him in the nose 18 times. And Ken just stood there and took it. He let her keep hitting him. It's almost like he didn't think he deserved better.
So to me it's not a matter of whether people should feel sorry for him (he wouldn't want sympathy) - it's a matter of feeling sadness for another human being who was obviously in a lot of pain. If you don't feel something for him or other people in his situation, then that says more about your ability to empathize than anything else."
Wow. This post floored me. It absolutely, perfectly reflected my own position on this entire situation, but which I had not been able to articulate as effectively up to this point.
In the best way I could, I had to respond to Donna and the group with this (altered slightly for greater clarity):
"Donna, this has got to be the most powerfully-written explanation of people who have monster addictions that I have ever read. I must say I completely agree 100% with everything you say here.
When I heard the Ken Caminiti and the Bubba Helms stories, I felt somewhat ambivalent in my feelings about them. I knew I didn't feel exactly sorry for them, but I felt bad for them that they somehow could not change their circumstances even though they wanted to. I knew they did not have the proper help either available to them, or that the help they hired was not effective in helping to deal with the problem. I hit a roadblock trying to articulate my thoughts on this. You smashed through the roadblock and reflected my position on this perfectly, and far more effectively than I myself could have at this point in time.
As we all know, Ken Caminiti did have resources to get help available to him. But as you've inferred, Donna, just because one can afford the help doesn't mean the help you hire is the right help, or that the help even knows what they're doing. The help may be incompetent for all you know, yet you have no way to assess that. People make bad choices in doctors, dentists, lawyers, contractors, financial advisors, etc., all the time, through no fault of their own. Just having the money available to you doesn't guarantee the help you hire is going to be the best.
I feel especially bad for Bubba Helms. Here's a guy who grew up in an environment where he was allowed to drop out of school in eighth grade, rendering himself undereducated, who was possibly (probably) mentally unstable, stuck in small-town Tennessee where there's little good employment, where there's nothing else to do, where there is probably no effective professional help for people battling drug addiction (and likely a culture that eschews seeking out such help as being a sign of personal weakness), and where drugs are rife to feed the addictions that people who have no resources, no hope, and no future need to quell the pain -- my God, what chance did the guy have?
There are a tremendous number of people, especially in this newsgroup, who want to paint the Caminiti and Helms situations as personal moral failings. They reason that the addicted ones made bad choices, pissed away their lives, and destroyed the lives of people around them, and for that they must be punished. These addicts lacked the will and the gumption to "just say no". These simplistic, self-righteous moralists would have you think that the Caminitis and Bubbas are the world are no better than human garbage to be darwinized out of existence for the good of mankind.
But as you've articulated so exquisitely, Donna, the truth is far more nuanced than that. You have brought an eloquent highly-reasoned point of view to this discussion, and for that I thank you."
I just posted this response to the newsgroup a few minutes ago, so I do not know what the reaction is going to be. It's doubtful that any minds will be changed about this issue, as people tend to hold on to their opinions in the face of all evidence to the contrary. But this discussion will continue to reverberate through the next week or so and then die out, only to be renewed when the next tragic story of death by addiction rekindles this debate.
Comments:
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